Romance Vs. Real Life

In many a romance book, for some reason or another, the heroine will leave the hero. Either the hero will tell her to leave for whatever reason, or the heroine will flee. In either case, the hero will usually brood. He'll become temperamental, drink a lot, with draw from the world. Those closest to him will find the heroine and tell her "you must come back! He loves you! He misses you!" Like Derek Craven from Dreaming of You. Derek even went to the extreme of visiting a house wench only because she looked like Sara.

Sometimes the hero will go to drastic measures to try and win the heroine back. For instance, Nick from Heartbreaker flew in an airplane (he's deathly afraid of flying) to tell Laurant he loved and missed her.

In Lover Eternal, Butch hides in the bushes to glimpse at Marissa. I admit, I thought it was cute and sweet. Had that happened in real life to me or my friends, it would be stalkerish.

But reading about it in a romance.....
I don't know about you, but when read stuff like I this I sigh, "How sweet" or "How romantic" or "Man, he must love her."


Right now, a friend is going through a break up. He is trying desperately to win her back. Which would be sweet, but it's too the point where I'm thinking, "Be a man. You did what you could, she's not coming back anytime soon, let her go." There is a bunch of stuff he's trying to do to win her back, but we won't go there. Let's just say, it's sad.


My questions: What is the difference between a hero doing whatever he can to win heroine back and the every day average Joe? When is hero deemed pathetic for his desperation to win the heroine back? If this was real life, would it be pathetic?